Love is a Choice

Love is a choice, not just a feeling. When you make that choice and that commitment to one person you have just given yourself freedom to love that person wholeheartedly with no hindrances. When you both make that choice you can then let down all your guards and be nothing but yourselves. You will know that through good times and bad you have made a choice and there is always light on the other side of the current circumstances.

There are three things I have observed in couples that have incredible marriages: They have a common belief in something bigger than themselves, they have a common goal or something they are working towards and they spend most all of their time together.

A common belief in something bigger than themselves fulfills that emptiness in a human heart that no other human being can. If they believe in God they believe in the direction and guidance they receive from God. They believe that God has a plan for their life together. They also, have a higher set of moral standards and if they break them they do not only risk hurting their spouse they risk disappointing God whom they also love. They make a choice to be held accountable to something greater then themselves.

Having a common goal or something they are working towards unites them. Often times they have a business or a part time business on the side. Or maybe they have a common interest that allows them to work on projects together. They make a choice to be held accountable to each other and the fulfillment of what they are pursuing together.

These couples also make a choice to spend their time with each other. The more time you spend with a person the closer you become. Time together allows a couple to go through joys and sorrows; laughter and tears, all drawing them together through the wonder of human emotions. Another key element is that these couples spend time with other couples who also have great marriages. Applying that age old adage of “You are like those you associate with.”

All of the above leads to good communication. Make your ‘love’ the first person you call when you are excited and the first person you call when you are upset. Lean on each other and delight in one another. Good communication leads to understanding and respect.

This is not a choice you make once. You choose everyday to do right by that person. We are all confronted with challenges and will go through some obstacles however, if we go through them together and communicate along the way we will survive. Our marriages will survive. We can choose to be happy with one another in any circumstance. Our partner will be our best friend and companion.

The grass may always seem greener on the other side, but if you water and cultivate your own grass it will be deep green, soft and full. As Tom Robbins says, “We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” We can create a perfect love by choosing to love. Love is a choice.

Your Failure Was Not Fatal

Have you ever tripped? Have you ever stumbled? Of course you have. Sometimes we fall and aren’t sure how we will get back up. We all have failed from time to time and will inevitably do it again. I’m here to tell you that despite your mistakes and temporary malfunctions; God is not through with you yet.

If your failure is not fatal God has equated your failure into your future. He already new the mistakes you would make. If those mistakes have not lead to your death you still have a purpose; there is a need for you on this earth. Jesus foretold Peter that he would deny him three times and Peter did. This was not the end of Peter. As a matter of fact it was really his beginning. God then used him to share the Gospel with all the nations.

If there is an area in your life that you seem to struggle with most often; perhaps that is the area that God wants to bless you in the most. Conceivably that area, is the area in your life where He wants to use you mightily. Peter went from denying the Lord to proclaiming His name boldly before thousands.

Another example is Saul, who became Paul. He persecuted the Christians. He went into their homes and dragged both men and women off to prison. It was his mission to arrest anyone who called upon the name of Jesus. But the Lord had plans for this man. “But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel” (Acts 9:15). He went from arresting those who called upon the name of Jesus to carrying the name of Jesus to all the nations and their kings.

Maybe you struggle in the area of relationships because God wants you to have one of the most amazing and impactful marriages. Maybe you struggle with drug addiction because God wants you to save others from that same snare. Maybe you had a hard childhood because God wants you to help and save children who are in abusive or bad situations.

Like both Peter and Paul we have a greater calling. We must recognize our failure and cry out for forgiveness and then tell God you are ready for your assignment.

It is time. It is time to move past the struggle and into the promise. You can do it and you must; for the sake of those you are meant to impact and change. For those you are meant to save.

It is your time!

A Witness...

I am a witness to the glory of the Lord.

I have come from a place of hurt and cutting remarks; a place of insecurity and criticism. Only to find my self empowered to give to those that which I did not have. I have learned to speak life, for His word tells us, “The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit” Proverbs 18:21. I have spoke life into someone, by sending out a blessing for them every morning for the last few months and I have watched with sweet joy as their life has changed and they have moved towards greatness. I will never cease to pray for this person and speak blessings over their life. I believe this person is immensely important. The Lord is good and he hears our prayers for others. “From the fruit of his lips a man is filled with good things” Proverbs 12:14a.

I am a witness to the glory of the Lord.

I have overcome suicidal depression. I have at one point in my life, many years ago now, been so reeked with sorrow that I didn’t even remember places that I went and people that I saw. I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. Then I was saved and the promises of the Lord out weighed the lies of the devil. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28. I have learned to edify and build myself up with the word of God. I have overcome.

I am a witness to the glory of the Lord.

I have a friend who was a new believer in the Lord and her husband was giving her a rough time about it. He was a critical man who carried a lot of frustration. My friend asked me one day to help her cry out to the Lord because she couldn’t take the constant persecution. That night I lay on my face before the Lord and cried out for my friend, that God would save her husband and relieve her of her burden. Two days later he was sitting in church beside her and he is going to be baptized and he has just returned victoriously from drug rehabilitation. He was hardened, now he is soft. He was skeptical, now he believes. He was lost, now he is saved.

I am a witness to the glory of the Lord.

My friend was running wild and living amongst the world. He grew up in an abusive home and he couldn’t commit to one person. Because of the grace of the Lord he found a woman who loved the Lord and wanted to serve Him and through his and her prayers he was able to commit. Now he is secure in his new marriage to his best friend and they are building a beautiful life together. They find themselves woke up in the middle of night to pray… together.

I am a witness to the glory of the Lord.

My friend who grew up in the church was confused about where she belonged and who she was. Through her steadfast commitment to the Lord she has found her way home and demonstrates her love for Him and for people as she plays the melody on the keyboard every church service. She is beautiful.

I am a witness to the glory of the Lord.

A fast paced married couple ran hard and played hard. They jumped from one business idea to another, one weekend in Cabo to a month in Panama, all in the attempt to find something that was missing. It wasn’t until they listened long enough to the still small voice of God that their souls calmed. They are no longer restless and they serve as Deacons in their church and lead people in their business powerfully and focused; with a sense of ease. Because they hope in the Lord they soar on wings like eagles.

I will continue to be a witness to the glory of the Lord.

I am free. I am free to embark on the passions He has favorably fashioned in me. I am acting and writing and trusting the Lord to unfold the ideas and talent he has placed within me. “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed” Proverbs 16: 3. I believe the Lord for my passionate love; my husband. “Every good and perfect gift is from above” James 1:17. The Lord is faithful. Most of the time God’s miracles come in the form of people…so watch closely.

What have you witnessed?

Light...

The evening sky is melting away behind the hills and the last bit of sunshine is stretching its rays through the clouds as to hold on awhile longer to the passing day. As the sun sets on our side of the world it rises on the other. There is always light somewhere in the world.

Let us be the light that shines from behind the mountain tops and shoots across the water and the rays that break through the clouds.

Let us not be self righteous light that glares with scorn upon those that are dim. Let us stand closer to those who have a flicker that it may ignite into a brightly glowing flame.

Let us shine brighter than the street signs, the television screens, and the physical reflections in the mirror. Let us light the way. May we let our light shine that people will see out good deeds and praise our Father in Heaven.

Let us save the world from its darkness.

Hope in the Revelation of God’s Agenda

'New Beginnings' is the excited cry of 2008. A new year that ushers in resolutions and plans that supersede our previous years' wonderings. We vow to live better, healthier and happier lives. All of which is important and the evaluation of the prior years progress in crucial. However, in this attempt to recreate ourselves do we miss the voice of God? The voice that is telling us His will for our lives; the voice that knows the plans He has for us. We must seek after the revelation of God's abundant will and the discovery of His agenda through prayer.

We must realize that God is not impressed by our grand ideas and the efforts we put forth to accomplish what we believe to be a great feat. We become enamored by our own noble exploits and believe that God should be pleased and in awe of us. Yet our labors and intricate plans are nothing compared to what God has designed for us. "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us" (Ephesians 3:20). God's plans out weigh and surpass the mere capability of our minds to imagine a plan that would even compare to His. We must not insist upon living out our own incisive agendas. We cannot operate outside of God's will and then ask God to bless it. We must seek the revelation of His abundant will and it will already be blessed.

God's will is not hidden from you; all you have to do is ask that it be revealed to you. The revelation of God's will, will not always unfold as neatly as we had planned or even take us in the direction we were heading. A complete turn around may be required. As Christians we must follow God's will even if it does not make sense to us at that moment. We can plan our course, but the Lord will determine our steps. God does not ask your opinion on where you would like to go or the people you would like to meet or what we think is best for our future. He doesn't need our opinion, because he already knows. In Galatians 1:12 Paul was called by God to preach the gospel and said "I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather, I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ." God's will begins with revelation.

We receive the needed revelation to God's will through prayer. Jesus is our example to follow. He separated himself from the masses and prayed to God in the early mornings so as to keep his mission set by God on the right path. When Jesus was tempted by the devil to follow the ways of the world, He prayed (Matthew 4). "One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray and spent the night praying to God" (Luke 6:12); when he had prayed all night he was ready to select His twelve disciples. Jesus prayed to God before miracles took place. When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and they rolled away the stone to his tomb, He said "…Father, I thank you that you have heard me" (John 11:41). Prayer preceded all the happenings in Jesus' life including His walk to the cross. Jesus sought revelation from the Father to walk out the calling upon His life. How much more important is it for us to seek the Lord in prayer to discover the revelation of His glorious agenda for our lives?

With prayer and revelation we will walk in God's agenda for our lives and we will be shown the way; step by step. "Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying "This is the way; walk in it"" (Isaiah 30:20-21). Gods' people must live by revelation. Each new revelation from God is a chance and the hope for a new beginning. ~Rebecca Williams

Precious Perspectives

Sweet, tiny voices lifted up a Birthday song to Jesus at New Life Church last Sunday. “Happy Birthday, Jesus. I’m so glad it’s Christmas. All the tinsel and lights and the presents are nice, but the real gift is you. Happy Birthday, Jesus. Jesus, I love you.” Their precious faces beamed out at the audience as they finished off their joyous performance with ‘We wish you a Merry Christmas.’ Some had fun and were excited while others were scared to death to stand in front of a crowd and sing. However, each small voice came together as a group to sing out a beautiful and true Christmas message. Through their comments and reactions a child can put everything into perspective during this crazy holiday season. If we watch and listen, the pure in heart will reveal to us many different and real perspectives on what is important at Christmas time.

Four year old Mia sat on my lap as we watched the movie of Jesus’ birth. She smelled like baby powder and every so often would burst into the chorus of ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’, which she could only remember the first part of, so I sang the rest with her. She was full of energy, yet content. She had lots of questions about the movie we were watching. Primarily, “Where is Jesus?” I told her that He is the baby in the story and he is about to be born. She had come to church with her grandparents and older sister McKenzie. Her joy was in the bounce in her step and her casual innocent conversation. Here was a child who felt loved and carefree and everything that was a part of Christmas just added to her joy. Still other children look forward to Christmas because it will bring them the joy that is not consistent in their lives.

Nine year old Ariana Faith wrote Santa Clause a letter on Christmas Eve; a letter that moved her mother to tears.

Dear Santa,

It has been a really tough year. My dad is in jail, my mom lost her job, we have to move out of our apartment and I just had to give away my dog. My mom and I cried for two hours after they came and took him. So, if I could just have everything on my list it would make it all a little better. Also, I made you some coffee. If it gets cold you can heat it in the microwave. Thank you.

From, Ariana

When I heard about her letter it broke my heart, because not only are all those awful things happening to a child in the course of one year, but the realization of it all has settled down in her heart. She has no control over these circumstances. She is just along for the ride. However, the hope of Christmas and the possibility that she may get some gifts she wants, brings her joy. This joy, even if only for a short time, keeps her looking towards brighter days. I have known this child from the time she was born and she is beautiful inside and out A few good presents just might help her feel good, at least for awhile. So, did she get everything on her list? Yes, she did and her spirit was lifted. Sometimes a lifted spirit is all that is on a child’s list.

Six year old Gabriel has to live with his Grandparents in Honduras for several months at a time, due to his dear mother’s unfavorable and difficult circumstances. His mother, who is a dear friend of mine works two jobs just to make their world go round and she very seldom has a day off. This is his second Christmas they have spent a part. He asks his mom “Are you coming for Christmas and my birthday?” With a torn heart she tells him no. “But, mom, I just want you to come for Christmas.” Even with the gifts he is sure to receive he would rather just have his mom with him. His joy will have to come at a later time and it will.

Whether it is the singing of ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’ and the story of Jesus from a child who doesn’t have a care in the world or a heart felt letter to Santa from a little girl that hopes for all the gifts on her list or an over the phone plea from a small boy who just wants to be with his mom; we discover that Christmas can be whatever we need it to be.

Each precious child sees the light of Christmas in their own unique and cherished perspective. Each perspective is real to the pure in heart and therefore, justifiably valuable.

Do You Want To Be Captivating?

I was horrified a few weeks ago as I looked through an old photo album with pictures from a camping trip at the beach. I said to my mom “That’s not right! Why didn’t somebody help me out? Make a suggestion at least!” Now I know we all go through some awkward years, but I did not come around until the end of college. I needed some help.

A friend of mine always tells me, “Ya know, I’m more than just beautiful biceps,” which he very much is. However, a few days ago he said to me, “You’re more than just brains;” which he said as I was sweating on the treadmill in over sized workout clothes. That comment made me think a little. What in that moment did I have that I apparently lacked for so many years? It certainly wasn’t my attire. As of late I have been determined to convey my intelligence above all else. I do not want to be treated as some guy’s trophy piece so I make it very clear that I am not a hot chic without any thoughts of my own. Perhaps, I can grab a hold of both, being sexy and intelligently classy and simply be captivating. What is it that makes a woman sexy and hot while she’s classy and intelligent all at the same time?

Society tells us we have to be perfectly in shape, have a large bust size, reveal everything that we have and not leave anything up to the imagination. Just give it all up and flaunt it. That is sexy. We are bombarded by ads of woman in seductive poses to tantalize men’s visual senses. So there are two extremes; the exposing one of society and the other that stubbornly tells us to keep that sex appeal completely hidden so people will know we achieved what we have so far because of our brains. I believe both extremes are off the mark. We should not reveal it all or hide it either, but we should embrace who we are and what we have as women.

I have found that it takes an inner confidence, overall health and your own subtle nuances to be sexy. First of all, discover what makes you who you are: what you believe in and stand for; figure out your thoughts and opinions on issues that you are passionate about; make a list of all that is good about you, what you love about yourself. Your confidence will soar when you put to paper all that you have to offer. Just so you know you do have a unique combination of qualities and gifts that are special to you.

Engage in healthy activities: go for an afternoon walk and give yourself some time to think; eat a salad full of your favorite veggies; refresh yourself with plenty of water; play tennis with your girlfriends. Mental activities are healthy and stimulating, as well. Read a book to further your education on something that interests you; watch ‘I love Lucy’ reruns if you have not had a good laugh in awhile.

Decide what makes you feel sexy: clothes that show off your shape and personal style; what perfume has ‘you’ written all over it; take a bubble bath, point your toe and put your leg up on the side of the tub just for fun; wink at your husband from across the room; dye your hair a new shade to catch the hazel flakes in your eyes. When you know what makes you feel sexy you will be sexy. Use all your senses and remind yourself just how passionate you are.

Now, just because you want people to know you are smart does not mean you cannot put on that strapless summer dress and heals and enter that party with your head held high, your skin moisturized and that new hue of lipstick. Once they marvel at how awesome you look you can then surprise them with meaningful and insightful conversation.

I think for some time I have underestimated the power that comes from feeling sexy as a woman. But perhaps developing my thoughts, using my brains and having a moral standard is partly what makes me sexy. The more I realize how much I have to offer and feel great about myself the sexier I feel and I am fully able to express my intelligence.

We do not have to wear a short skirt to be sexy or pretend like we do not understand something to get attention and generate conversation. We can dress classy and add knowledge to conversations all the while feeling sexy. We can be captivating.