Love is a choice, not just a feeling. When you make that choice and that commitment to one person you have just given yourself freedom to love that person wholeheartedly with no hindrances. When you both make that choice you can then let down all your guards and be nothing but yourselves. You will know that through good times and bad you have made a choice and there is always light on the other side of the current circumstances.There are three things I have observed in couples that have incredible marriages: They have a common belief in something bigger than themselves, they have a common goal or something they are working towards and they spend most all of their time together.
A common belief in something bigger than themselves fulfills that emptiness in a human heart that no other human being can. If they believe in God they believe in the direction and guidance they receive from God. They believe that God has a plan for their life together. They also, have a higher set of moral standards and if they break them they do not only risk hurting their spouse they risk disappointing God whom they also love. They make a choice to be held accountable to something greater then themselves.
Having a common goal or something they are working towards unites them. Often times they have a business or a part time business on the side. Or maybe they have a common interest that allows them to work on projects together. They make a choice to be held accountable to each other and the fulfillment of what they are pursuing together.
These couples also make a choice to spend their time with each other. The more time you spend with a person the closer you become. Time together allows a couple to go through joys and sorrows; laughter and tears, all drawing them together through the wonder of human emotions. Another key element is that these couples spend time with other couples who also have great marriages. Applying that age old adage of “You are like those you associate with.”
All of the above leads to good communication. Make your ‘love’ the first person you call when you are excited and the first person you call when you are upset. Lean on each other and delight in one another. Good communication leads to understanding and respect.
This is not a choice you make once. You choose everyday to do right by that person. We are all confronted with challenges and will go through some obstacles however, if we go through them together and communicate along the way we will survive. Our marriages will survive. We can choose to be happy with one another in any circumstance. Our partner will be our best friend and companion.
The grass may always seem greener on the other side, but if you water and cultivate your own grass it will be deep green, soft and full. As Tom Robbins says, “We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” We can create a perfect love by choosing to love. Love is a choice.
